yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
we're so committed to being not committed
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
