sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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