Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize