Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize