Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
