About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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