I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
