I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
