Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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