apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
