I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
