idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize