Me. At least after what I've been through.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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