escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
