i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
