Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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