is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
