I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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