MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
