She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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