I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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