he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
