we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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