he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
