I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
