I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
