singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
