OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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