guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
