i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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