i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
