At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
