Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
