jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Randomize
