Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
