Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
