all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have feelings that need drinking.
Randomize
