So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
