Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
