i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
