a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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