she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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