Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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