yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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