Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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