VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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