Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
only you would photoshop your dick
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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