hotel room ftw
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
