my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize