super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
