she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
