hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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