there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I know her cup size but not her name....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
